A baby isn't born with the innate ability to dislike themselves. It is their first experiences that sets the groundwork for whether they will learn to love themselves or not. A person who is confident and self-assured has probably experienced more positive affirmations from the outside world to enable them able to reaffirm to themselves that they are filled with self-love.
How Do You Know If You Need Self-Love Affirmations?
The way you currently think and behave is characteristic of whether or not you have a positive identity that is filled with self-love. Thoughts, feelings and behaviors that may indicate that you lack self-love and could use some positive affirmations include:
- You are filled with self-doubt.
- You don't trust yourself and feel that others don't trust you.
- You lack self-esteem and self-confidence.
- You believe that you are not good enough.
- You are more concerned with failure than achieving success.
- You are always running yourself down instead of building yourself up.
- You prefer to follow and not lead.
- You are withdrawn and lonely.
- You feel that no-one loves you and that you are unlovable.
If you are having 4 or more of these negative thought patterns, then you definitely need positive self-love affirmations. However, I firmly believe that each and every person can benefit from affirmations to affirm and reaffirm self-love.
Why Are Self-Love Affirmations So Important?
Affirmations can take a variety of different forms - there are health, wealth, self-esteem, gratitude and even weight loss affirmations. Self-love affirmations lie at the heart of each of these other categories to bring greater positivity into your life. In fact, each of these affirmation categories are interconnected. For example, without self-love you cannot have high self-esteem. Without high self-esteem, you don't have the confidence to achieve success and wealth. And so on and so forth. In addition, if you aren't able to love yourself, it is not possible to love others around you. Our lives are filled with relationships from the moment we are born - parents, siblings, extended family, friends, acquaintances, work colleagues, career peers, employers and so many more. Self-love is critical at managing these relationships effectively to ensure that they have a positive impact on our lives. So often we surround ourselves with people who feed negativity rather than people who have a positive outlook on life. But the most important relationship of all is the one that you have with yourself. Only you will always be there for yourself and love yourself unconditionally throughout your life. Nurturing this relationship is essential to building a positive identity through self affirmations.
Changing Your Internal Dialogue With Positive Self-Affirmations
An internal dialogue is the conversation that you have with yourself. This dialogue is happening on a subconscious level. However, it is important to delve into this internal dialogue to identify in what ways you may be affirming negative thoughts and behaviors. Thoughts like "I will never be able to do that", "No-one wants to hear what I have to say", "I will never be successful", and so on are all negative thought patterns that result in negative behaviors. Once you have identified what your negative internal dialogue is, it is time to replace it with a positive affirmation. Below I have provided a list of self-love affirmations to get you started. However, you can personalize these affirmations such as adding your name instead of using "I". For example, every night, I say good night to myself using my name and then tell myself that I love myself no matter what happened during the day. The following list of affirmations have been adapted from Brian Tracy's book "Your Self-Esteem Determines Your Life":
1. I love myself unconditionally
2. I love what I see in the mirror
3. I love who I am and how I am looking
4. I love myself top to bottom and inside and out
5. I have only positive feelings about myself
6. I enjoy my own company
7. I have the greatest respect for myself
8. I am amazing
9. I am enough
10. I am happy
11. I am special
12. I am lovable
13. I am a pleasant person to be around
14. I am calm, serene and peaceful
15. I deserve to love myself and live in peace
16. Every day I am doing better
17. I love my body
18. I am beautiful on the inside and outside
19. I am kind to myself
20. I am smart
21. I have confidence in myself
22. I am strong and can overcome
23. I am worthy
24. I am a talented and skilled
25. I am creative
26. I am successful
27. I am capable and able
28. I do make a difference
29. I have good self-confidence
30. I have high self-esteem
31. I deserve only the best and nothing less
32. I believe in me
33. I can achieve my goals
34. I am unstoppable
35. I am limitless
36. I deserve to be a success
37. I am doing the best I can and am proud of what I accomplish
38. I believe in my own abilities
39. Other will not define me
40. I cannot be compare to others
41. I love my life
42. I release the negative feelings about myself and embrace all that is good
43. I am free myself of worry and regret
44. I forgive myself and I accept myself
45. Today, I choose only positive thoughts, feelings, words and actions for myself
Repetition is key to success in using self-love affirmations. Some experts say that in order to be truly effective, an affirmation needs to be repeated at least 30 times multiple times a day. This can become very tiresome and boring and defeat the entire purpose of expressing self-love affirmations. It is far better to focus on what you are saying and mean what you are saying. Choose a few affirmations that feel the most important to you and repeat these (preferably in front of a mirror) a few times. Pay attention to the words that you are saying and what they mean and try to mean what you say. Convincing yourself, your conscious and your subconscious that what you say is true is the goal here. You can also repeat these during the day when you find your negative internal dialogue is taking over. Keep in mind that this is not a quick fix. It has taken years and years of negative experiences to establish a negative internal dialogue. It is going to take hard work and dedication to retrain the brain to throw out the old and accept these new positive affirmations. Positive affirmations have been scientifically proven to permanently and successfully change thought patterns and therefore behavior. These techniques are often used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help people who suffer from mental health disorders such as clinical depression, a variety of different anxiety disorders as well as phobias. You have the right to love yourself! So go ahead and get rid of all the negative obstacles that are preventing this and pave new pathways with positive affirmations on the road to self-love.