Why Dating May Not Be for You

for janetWhoa!  We are up for a treat today!  We have my friend and co-author Janet Ong Zimmerman as a guest to share her expertise.

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If you’ve been let down by your dating life, you are not alone. Most women have been in your situation and have wanted to give up. But here’s what you may not realize. Most people who are dating have different expectations. For instance, let’s say you want a monogamous relationship and the guy you’re dating, wants a casual relationship. Both of you are expecting a different outcome. If you continue dating this guy knowing he doesn’t want the kind of relationship you want, you will once again be disappointed and frustrated.

Dating to find a mate will most likely let you down because nowadays, dating is about having casual sex, hanging out and hooking up, or companionship. Many people who date are not looking for a long-term partner. If you’re sick and tired of meeting guys who try to rush you into having sex instead of getting to know the real you, it’s time to stop dating.

The Approach to a Committed Relationship

There is a better approach — one that will attract more men who want the same kind of relationship as you do. It’s letting yourself be wooed. Despite how things have greatly evolved in the dating world, wooing has remained constant. Wooing has a universal meaning where both individuals are together with the intention of a committed relationship or marriage.

Wooing is courtship. It tends to bring out the best in you and the man who is courting you. Here are five ways you can bring out a man’s desire to woo you.

1. Hold off on getting naked. Don’t let a man rush or pressure you into having sex. You decide when it’s comfortable and right for you to be physically intimate.
 
2. Build emotional intimacy before getting naked. You will have a more meaningful connection because he will be more vested in who you are.
 
3. Be your best self by working through residual baggage from past dating and relationship experiences. This will let your inner beauty shine. While your physical appearance catches a man’s eyes, your inner beauty captivates his heart.
 
4. Be a woman by connecting with your feminine essence. This means responding more and initiating less, receiving graciously, being vulnerable, and letting things flow with ease
 
5. Appreciation and respect are what a man wants from a woman. When you appreciate and respect him, he feels good about him and you. In turn, he values you and wants you more in his life.

Ultimately, a man who will court you wants to feel like the man in your relationship. If you want to be wooed instead of date, it’s in your best interest to let go of trying to control things by relaxing and letting things happen naturally. When you approach wooing in this manner, you are more present and able to create the love life you truly desire. What will you start doing to let yourself be wooed?

If you are ready to let a man cherish, appreciate and respect you, learn 9 juicy ways to bring out a man’s desire to woo you while staying true to yourself.

Janet Ong Zimmerman coaches the successful woman who is frustrated in her search for true love to open her heart again by breaking through self-imposed barriers. Her bylines and editorial contributions appear regularly on Your Tango, eHarmony and the Huffington Post Live. Learn more about creating true love at www.LoveForSuccessfulWomen.com.

About Lorii

Lorii Abela is a love coach and relationship expert. Men and women over 40 can count her for advice on finding true love. She uses the law of attraction as a focal point for her articles and advices. As an expat who was successful in finding her mate through the law of attraction, Lorii is able to give first hand information on what one needs to do to find true love.
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46 Responses to Why Dating May Not Be for You

  1. Katrina says:

    I am absolutely at the wooing stage. I no longer want to date. I would rather be part of couple than a one night stand. Great article and something for me to think about.

  2. I love the idea of being wooed and I love the idea of not getting Naked too Soon! Wonderful advice.

  3. Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,

    Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and perspectives. I appreciate your feedback and comments. Long live the woo! :)

    Love,
    Janet Ong Zimmerman

  4. Ashley says:

    I love that the idea of wooing has remained a constant. This is great advice! Thanks for sharing.

  5. Sheeech! Really happy to not be in the dating game…! Times sure have changed since I was dating and not sure I really like where it’s gone! :)

  6. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Marielle, for the brief narration of your successful love life. Happy to hear you again in this forum.

  7. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Joan, for your insightful thoughts, which make us always inspired doing our advocacy towards women. Such advocacy helps them avoid frustration, unhappiness and the worry that they will be alone forever.

  8. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Sharon, for your inspiring comments. I concur with that you there is a clear cut policy on relationship, which is maturity. Such maturity helps both parties ripen their relationship for life and beyond.

  9. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Daveda, for interacting here. Both parties should always have a clean and mature relationship, this a real happiness. Everything has its own time and place.

  10. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Jackie, for your time sharing your comment.

  11. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Kungpoo! Find real partner in life and you will have gone a long way toward finding soulmate also. True partners should have same wavelengths.

  12. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Kungpoo! Find real partner in life and you will have gone a long way toward finding soulmate also. Partners should have same wavelengths.

  13. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Alexandra, for your reaction on the attitudes of young individuals towards love and relationship. It is also my desire to impart to them, in any occasion, my knowledge about genuine love and relationship.

  14. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Roz, for sharing your amazing application of letting you being wooed.

  15. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Michael, for your beautiful and brief sharing of your past love life. Beautiful compliment!

  16. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Tina, for your time, sharing your view on the matter.

  17. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Veronica, for your thoughts of hope and encouragement, inspiring words for women.

  18. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Sharon, for your encouraging comments. I concur with you that it is a must to have a clear cut policy on the relationship, maturity. Such maturity helps both parties ripen their relationship for life and beyond.

  19. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Jackie, for your time, sharing your comment.

  20. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Daveda, for interacting here. Both parties should always have a clean, close and mature relationship, this real happiness comes into play. Everything has its own time and place.

  21. Hi Lorii,

    Great post and some really great tips!!! Thanks for sharing your awesome advice :)

  22. Nice article!! Lately every time I read anything about dating how t0s I just thank my lucky stars that I’m in a relationship already and don’t have to go through the whole “dating” thing

  23. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Michael, for your beautiful and brief sharing of your past love life. Beautiful compliment!

  24. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Yvonne! I like your comment.

  25. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Gina, for interacting in this forum. Relating your valuable experiences in love and relationship is a welcoming change herein where everyone is free to air his or views, opinions and comments. They are always welcome and appreciated.

  26. Lorii Abela says:

    That is true, Clive! Finding a partner is a daunting task, an unending search for the much-sought soulmate. However, should a person find a true partner or soul mate at an opportune time and at the proper place, indeed, life of a tough-minded optimist would be worth living for.

  27. Yvonne Brown says:

    This is real word advice!

  28. All I have to say is I’m so glad I am past this. So much has changed! Great advice for sure

  29. Great advice as always Lorii. Finding a partner can be difficult but so worth it when you find your soul mate.

  30. I like Janet’s emphasis on wooing as the path for a committed relationship. Twenty seven years ago that’s how my relationship started – and it was fun. I think she pointed out an important discrepancy in many budding relationships: divergent expectations. If dating couples were mindful of potential deal-breakers earlier in the relationship, much pain could be avoided later.

  31. Tina says:

    Great advise! I think you hit the nail on the head with this one!

  32. Veronica says:

    As challenging as the world of dating is, everyone deserves to find love if that’s what they seek. There is someone for everyone

  33. Sharon O'Day says:

    At last, a truly mature look at relationship building. Not that there’s anything wrong with dating … or the expectations that come along with it today. Janet has simply differentiated between them beautifully! Thanks for sharing her words, Lorii!

  34. Daveda says:

    I agree, there are way too many people rushing into intimate relationships before the time is right. The getting naked, before it’s the right time, only complicates things and makes it harder for both parties when it doesn’t work out. The greatest reward comes from waiting for the right person!

  35. I’m not even sure I would recognize being wooed.

  36. Kungphoo says:

    A lot of great advice here! It’s definitely important to always be yourself and date individuals that you can see yourself being happy with. You should always be on the same page to eliminate confusion.

  37. Great points here, Lorii. The picture says it all! They don’t look like they should be in any kind of relationship together. I believe that the young people are looking to have fun rather than marriage, let alone a committed relationship.

  38. Roz says:

    When my now hubby of 15 years asked me on our 3rd date if I was open to marriage I hemmed and hawed and bave a general answer. Clearly we had different expectations. He told me he would ask again in 1 year and spent all that time wooing me. Not bad for mature couple in a 2nd marriage.

  39. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Naty, for your insight on the matter. Maturity is the key to having a genuine relationship which is also important in resolving independently or with the assistance of professional matchmaker issues involving seriousness and other related relationship concerns.

  40. lorii abela says:

    I appreciate your efforts for posting your reaction on the better approach to a committed relationship- letting yourself be wooed. Thank you, Heather!

  41. Nate says:

    It appears that most singles are just looking to have fun, although they may say that they are looking for a relationship but in reality it means something else.

  42. Heather says:

    Letting yourself be wooed is a hard thing to do. It never used to be. We all put up a rough exterior and don’t let people treat us nicely thinking that they expect something in return. Once I got over that, that is how I met my soulmate. Go figure! Great post!

  43. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Beth, for your time sharing your comment. A relationship on that level is very common in our society. Every person differs in perspective as to building a strong foundation for a lasting relationship. The ultimate solution is to commit a genuine relationship which can surpass all odds.

  44. Lorii Abela says:

    Thanks, Patricia, for greatly appreciating all my efforts in providing quality contents in all my matchmaking projects. My pleasure to know that indeed you enjoy my project’s content I always share.

  45. Beth Niebuhr says:

    Good points. I love the picture! Talk about a couple who aren’t right for each other. I bet they are both wondering how soon they can get away.

  46. Always enjoy the content you share Lorii. Janet has some great points here. I know if I were looking, I would definitely keep my clothes on!! LOL great job! p

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