Money and Its Role in Matters of Love

aaHere is a teaser of my latest article on YourTango

Did you know that money is one of the main causes for divorce? While that may not always be true, in many cases, it is the lack of money that is the real problem. Knowing that, it is very important to develop financial independence irrespective of whether or not your spouse is able to make ends meet for both of you. Finding a soulmate, then, is a matter of thinking with your head as much as your heart. If it is the heart that leads you to your One, it is the head that helps you manage that relationship so it remains healthy for life.


Being financially dependent on the man of the house is acceptable in most cultures. However, in today’s fast-paced world, that equation has changed in these very same cultures. No longer is the woman expected to take care of the family while the husband brings home the bacon.

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About Lorii

Lorii Abela is a multi-awarded international leader and motivational speaker, matchmaker, and an acknowledged expert on soul mates. Co-author of four international bestselling books—including Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life Vol. 1 & 2, Lorii helps singles find their soul mates using the Law of Attraction. If you have been wondering how you can turn your light on, wow, and enchant your soulmate into entering your life, Lorii has answers! Call (312) 235-2688 to set an appointment.
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22 Responses to Money and Its Role in Matters of Love

  1. This can be a challenging thing that many people deal with, and yes, money is in fact very important and an issue that needs to be brought up in conversations.

  2. I find in my money mentoring of women that the critical role of money in a relationship is that it has to be part of an ongoing, honest conversation. I push clients to be very comfortable around numbers–and money–and to have a level of knowledge and resources that allows them to transition easily if something should happen. Because it often does.

  3. Very good advice. Such an important decision requires thought and a sense of responsibility.

  4. Thanks for sharing this post! I know it is a balance between independence and working as a team. (And that working as a team does not require one to control everything and therefore create an unhealthy dependence.)

  5. Rhonda says:

    You are so right. I do believe that it’s up to the couple and a very personal decision. However, if a couple doesn’t communicate before and during the marriage, there are sure to be problems.

  6. In the last 10 years we’ve been together we have both gone from working full time to not having any work and each time we were able to support one another! relationships should not be based on who bring the bacon in or who stays home and takes care of the family. Both partner simply needs to be able to communicate with each other and support each other through the good and the bad!

  7. tina says:

    I attended a MaryKay event last night and of course the discussion is the empowering of women. It is so important that we have a separate bank account (oh, how I wish I had listened to that advise 40 years ago!). Things are different now and we need to learn how to take care of ourselves.

  8. Ashley says:

    Great article! I agree that there’s just as much thinking with your head as well as thinking with your heart. Very interesting topic!

  9. Yvonne Brown says:

    Both need to be equally responsible. Realistically, it is not always practical.

  10. Patricia says:

    I agree money can cause a lot of distress in a relationship. Personally I think statistically alcohol and infidelity are at the top of the list
    !! Great article Lorii. P

  11. Kungphoo says:

    I feel most confident in taking care of myself. I’m old fashioned to some degree, but not when it comes to finances. That’s just me! :-)

  12. Patricia says:

    Great article!! Independence it so important to me…thanks for sharing!

  13. Money, among other things, can definitely put strain on any marriage. It’s so important to openly discuss these matters so that you’re both on the same page and work together!

  14. Tina says:

    Last night I attended a Mary Kay event where they were talking about the independence and empowering of women. I wish I had listened to that 30 years ago. Women now need their own (separate) bank accounts as well as their own self-esteem. The world has changed and it’s about time we catch up to is.

  15. Absolutely. This is a great point and something that most definitely needs to be brought up BEFORE the wedding. It’s way up there, along with how many kids. If you don’t agree before, you will not agree after. Great post Lorii!

  16. Money can definitely be a strain especially if you don’t agree on how it should be spent

  17. I believe money can rip a marriage apart. This subject should be discussed before marriage to avoid such problems.

  18. Katrina says:

    Not sure whether you want the comment on this post or the other one. So I am leaving it here. :)

    I totally believe that both need to be responsible for money. Being able to support yourself financially is key before getting into a relationship.

    Also creating a budget for daily, monthly, yearly, and future expenses is a good idea also.

  19. Diane Bester says:

    I think it is up to the couple to decide who is going to pay the bills. I also think that your heart and head have to be in agreement. Too many marriages end in divorce over money problems that are created without these things being in place. Love your article, keep them coming!

  20. Great post. I agree that money plays a very important role in relationships. Financial decisions should be made together not only as a couple but as a team. Having a partner with the same financial goals as you will help in your relationship. There is always a deal of give and take in any relationship so working through things is the only way to become a strong unit that will allow you to grow as a couple and keep you close through hardships.

  21. Heather says:

    Great message about not being dependent on money. It really can rip a marriage apart if a couple is not careful. Today it is easier if both partners are equal or at least both make a type of contribution to the household.

  22. Christina says:

    I really love what you had to say here. I think it’s so important to follow your heart and not depend on a partner for financial stability. That being said, it is so necessary to create a feeling of abundance internally and seek someone who can do the same, regardless of how things look on the outside.

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